From Jimmy Haver, Park Ranger, Log Cabin Hater

Dear Winter Solstice,

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. If I had to see one more goddamn log cabin I was going to shoot myself.

Sincerely,

Jimmy Haver, Park Ranger, Log Cabin Hater

P.S. When you see Summer Solstice, tell that bitch to leave us the fuck alone.

From Sen. Ben Nelson

Dear Winter Solstice,

Hi there, how are you? That's good. Listen... I'm writing to let you know that I do not regularly enjoy the amount of nighttime you've been giving the great state of Nebraska. You've really been skimping out. And I'm not going to sign any legislature to let you back into Nebraska unless you grant us at least 2 more hours of darkness for the next three years.

I know that it seems like I'm being overly critical and harsh, but there are just some measures in the darkness you bring that, frankly, are too short for the people of Nebraska. Part of the reason residents of Nebraska can get through the day is because the darkness reminds them of a magical place where their dreams can come true. Instead, they are reminded they are in Nebraska. I will not sign legislation letting you in our state unless we get these additional 2 hours. I know you've already made concessions for Connecticut, so I'm pretty sure I can bully my way into this.

Sincerely,

Sen. Ben Nelson, Nebraska Senator (D)

From the local five year old...

Dear Winter Solstice,

My name is Timothy and i want to thank you for making this day so short. I like short days, because i think short days are the best. this is because I liKe not having to look outside and realize i live in the state of Nebraska. I like a lot of things. I like lucky charms and i like sand and I like trees. I don't like some things. I don't like Nebraska. Probably because it reminds me that as a little boy (I'm this many) I have a very small chance of ever escaping this god-forsaken place. But every year I stay up late at Night (AND THERE'S SO MUCH OF IT!) to see if I can see you riding across the sky with your flying badgers. I leaave out milk and celery for you, Winter Solstice, to show my thanks for making this day so short i can't see the outside where i'll probably work for the rest of my life.

Thank you winter solstice!

From,

Timothy #14

In the safety of dark...

Dear Winter Solstice,

The residents of Lincoln, Nebraska want to personally thank you for granting us the privilege of darkness. Too often do we wake up, look outside, realize we live in this awful awful state, and then are tormented by this fact for 12 hours or more. Of course you can understand how retched this makes us as a community feel... realizing as the corn continues to surround us that our futures are about as bland and undigestible as these tall stalks that surround us.

So, to you Winter Solstice, we offer our sincerest gratitude. In the safety of dark we can imagine that we've gotten away from our home town and not be constantly reminded that our lives have played out like the Bruce Springsteen song "Glory Days." In the safety of the dark we can be anyone we want to be. In the safety of the dark we don't have to be reminded we live in Nebraska.

Sincerely yours,

The Residents of Lincoln, Nebraska