Hi there, how are you? That's good. Listen... I'm writing to let you know that I do not regularly enjoy the amount of nighttime you've been giving the great state of Nebraska. You've really been skimping out. And I'm not going to sign any legislature to let you back into Nebraska unless you grant us at least 2 more hours of darkness for the next three years.
I know that it seems like I'm being overly critical and harsh, but there are just some measures in the darkness you bring that, frankly, are too short for the people of Nebraska. Part of the reason residents of Nebraska can get through the day is because the darkness reminds them of a magical place where their dreams can come true. Instead, they are reminded they are in Nebraska. I will not sign legislation letting you in our state unless we get these additional 2 hours. I know you've already made concessions for Connecticut, so I'm pretty sure I can bully my way into this.
Sincerely,
Sen. Ben Nelson, Nebraska Senator (D)
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